


A Pirate's Life for Me

by Andian



Category: Disenchantment (TV 2018)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Gen, Pirates, Pre-Season 2 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21760018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andian/pseuds/Andian
Summary: Oona braced herself, taking a deep breath.She’d never admit it, never could admit it, but this part was still a bit difficult. But she wasn’t a queen anymore and so she gritted her teeth, preparing herself for the fight ahead.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	A Pirate's Life for Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IncurablePeppermint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncurablePeppermint/gifts).



The door to her cabin burst open and her first mate stormed in.  
  
“Captain Oona! There is something in the cargo bay! A horribly loud and stinking thing!”  
  
Oona griped the handle of her saber tighter as she quickly followed her first mate Danvin out of her cabin and down to the cargo bay. They had just passed the Many-Monsters-Archipelagoes. It was rather likely that something might have snuck onto board during their quick pit stop to store up on water and food.

Please don’t breathe fire, she thought as she opened the trapdoor leading down to the cargo bay. They couldn’t afford to rebuild the ship again.

Judging by the stench wafting up from below, it might very well be a dragon. Oona’s nose crinkled at the smell.

Peering down into the cargo bay she gave her amphibian eyes a few seconds to adjust to the darkness. There was nothing visible though expect for a few crates and bags.

“Stay up here,” she hissed at Danvin who nodded and held up the trap door for her. Oona slithered down the ladder, climbing up the wall once she had reached the end of it and slowly made her way through the cargo bay while sticking to the ceiling.

She couldn’t really find anything though, even as her eyes carefully surveyed the cargo bay. Maybe the smell was just a crate of fruits or meat the crew had forgotten about that had started to rot in the dark dampness of the cargo bay.  
  
She was close to giving up, inwardly cursing Danvin for having taken her away from a quiet evening of wine and some snakeroot when something suddenly moved just below her.

Oona tensed up, slowly reaching for the knife dangling from her belt. It had belonged to another pirate who had thought his ship and men would have no problem measuring up to Oona’s ragtag crew.

He had neither ship and nor men left anymore and Oona had gotten a wonderful shiny knife out of it, decorated with rubies and emeralds.

A knife she now was holding in her hand, reading to plunge it into whatever was moving sluggishly below her.  
  
Oona braced herself, taking a deep breath. She’d never admit it, never could admit it, but this part still was a bit difficult. But she wasn’t a queen anymore and so she gritted her teeth, preparing herself for the fight ahead.  
  
Letting out a loud yell she dropped from the ceiling, landing on the thing below. It screamed at the impact. From up close it smelt even worse, like musty clothes and vomit and alcohol and-

Oona dropped the knife. 

“Bean?” she said. The thing let out a pathetic moan.

“Bean, it is you!” Oona said. “Why are you here?”

“Where’s here?” Bean mumbled, blinking up at her. She looked very unlike a princess, Oona thought disapprovingly, years of being her stepmother and a queen suddenly flaring back up. She forced it down. Those times were behind her.

“My ship,” Oona answered.

“Ugh, I remember nothing but Luci getting Elfo and me to go this weird demon tavern at this even weirder island. Said they are serving booze there you can’t get on the mortal plane.”

Bean held her head and groaned. Oona debated helping her up but past experience had taught her that a hungover Bean was best left to her own devices.

“What day it is? And how far till Dreamland?” Bean said, closing her eyes again and letting her head drop back on the floor.

“Thursday. And we are at least a week from Dreamland.”

“Ugh,” Bean said again. “Great. Can you drop me off there? Please?”

It was on the tip of Oona’s tongue to argue. They were on route to Roldonia, having heard of a few trade ships loaded with gold that were sailing towards it. Taking a detour to Dreamland might very well make them miss the ships and its precious cargo.

But Bean looked awful. Worse than usual even. The deep-rooted unhappiness that had been hiding in her eyes for as long as Oona remembered had returned.

It was a very princess-like unhappiness. It spoke of a life expected to be lived quietly and obediently until one was old enough –or considered old enough- to be married off to an another man who’d expect more silence and obedience of you.  
  
Oona knew this unhappiness. She had seen it for many years every time she had looked in the mirror.

“We’ll get you back to Dreamland,” Oona said with a sigh.

Bean’s eyes lit up a bit.

“Thanks Oona!”

Oona gave a curt nod and decided to leave Bean to clean herself up a bit.

“We have a guest,” she explained to Danvin as she climbed out of the cargo bay. “Princess Tiabeanie of Dreamland will be part of our crew until we reach Dreamland.”  
  
And then because she knew Bean, she added. “Go and hide the booze.”  
  
***  
  
The next few days of Bean’s presence on the ship went by quickly. Naturally Bean had found the hidden booze after roughly twelve hours, had started an ill-advised game of “hit the seagull” that ended with five injured members of her crew and zero hit seagulls and had defeated half her crew in a probably even more ill-advised drinking game.  
  
All in all Oona was impressed by how mature Bean was behaving. Though Oona had also spent a considerable amount of time in her quarters, calculating wind and weather patterns to see if they could still make it to Roldonia on time, even with the detour.

It had been some months since they had gotten a good haul, Oona thought. She was a newcomer, her crew wasn’t the strongest or largest and her ship had seen better days. They couldn’t afford to appear as weak, needed the triumph of a big coup such as the Roldonian gold to earn themselves some respect.

She hissed loudly when somebody opened her door and bright daylight entered her usual dark quarters.

“Sorry Captain,” Danvin said. “I knocked but you didn’t answer and …”

“It’s fine.”

“We got company,” Danvin then said.

Oona felt herself tense. Nowadays company rarely meant anything good.

“Navy?”

Danvin shook his head.

“Other pirates. Red flag.”

The tension intensified. She hadn’t been at sea for long but one thing Oona had learnt already was that red flags rarely meant anything good.  
  
Oona squared her shoulders and reached for her hat. She was almost at the door before she remembered to pick up her saber.

Bringing her weapons had yet to turn into the same kind of reflex as fixing her crown before she left her chambers had been. She figured it would become routine after a while. Most things did.

Outside some parts of her crew had gathered starboard, staring at the distance. They silently parted when Oona walked towards the railing.

Out in the ocean, maybe a few sea miles away, a ship had appeared. Small yet but steadily increasing in size at it came closer, the wind clearly in its favor.

Without looking Oona reached out and Danvin silently handed her a telescope.

There was little more to be seen though, even with the telescope. Oona frowned when she saw that the deck of the ship seemed to be completely deserted. The ship was almost the same size as her own and steadily coming towards them. There should have been at least half a dozen people on deck, Oona thought.

She let the telescope wander over the rest of the ship, searching for any kind of life on it. There was nothing though. The ship seemed to be moving completely on its own.

Oona was close to declaring this entire thing to be magic and therefore a waste of her time when some movement suddenly caught her eyes.

Somebody had just come on deck from down below. A tall man with a thick reddish beard and a tattered coat. Oona watched as he slowly walked towards the ship’s steering wheel.

Then he suddenly stopped. Without moving the rest of his body he turned his head towards her. And he smiled.

Oona’s heart skipped a beat. Slowly she lowered the telescope, her eyes still fixed on the ship in the distance.

“What did you see, Captain?” Danvin asked beside her.

“One man,” Oona said without looking at him. “Prepare for battle.”

“But if there is just one man-,” Danvin began, the confusion obvious in his voice.

“Prepare for battle,” Oona cut him off. There must have been something her voice because Danvin snapped to attention, a serious expression on his face.

“Yes, captain,” he said before turning around and barking orders at the rest of the crew.

Oona meanwhile made her way below deck.

Maybe she was overreacting, she thought. It was just a man. A single man. Oona had been a pirate for almost a year now. She had killed. Two men only maybe but still…

They could take one man. She could take one man.

But he had looked at her. Oona stopped for a moment, suddenly realizing that her hand had been tightly grabbing her saber since she had lowered the telescope.

He had looked at her and he had smiled as if he had known that she was looking at him. All alone on this ship that was sailing on its own, sailing towards them.

Oona knew of magic. In the swampy marshes of her home lived powerful witches and wizards. They worked with powders and bones, with rituals performed under full moons. It ran in their blood, this magic. So far removed from the shiny metals and glass flasks Oona had seen in Sorcerio’s laboratory.

Who is to say, Oona thought, that this couldn’t be magic either then? She could deal with men who bled. But she wasn’t sure what to do with those who bled magic.

“Oona, what’s going on?”

Bean’s sleepy voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Is it already time for the step dance competition? I thought that was tomorrow?”

“We are … under attack,” Oona said. “Stay below deck.”

Bean’s tired expression turned determined.

“Attack? By whom? If you give me a sword I can…”

“No,” Oona cut her off. “It’s too dangerous. Stay here. And be quiet”

Something in Bean’s expression shifted and Oona inwardly cursed. She had sounded like Zøg here.

And even worse, like her own father.

But she was the captain of this ship and had no time to deal with the hurt feelings of a teenager and so she quickly made her way back to the deck.

Danvin had done well in preparing the crew. The cannons had been loaded and pointed at the ship that had come alarmingly close in the brief time Oona had been below deck. The rest of the crew was armed and standing at guard.

Danvin was looking at Oona, awaiting her orders.

“I’ll talk,” Oona said, loud enough to address the entire crew. “If talks fail, we attack.”

Danvin nodded grimly. Somebody raised his axe and smiled. Oona felt the usual rush of excitement running through her, her heart pounding faster as her body prepared for the upcoming fight. This part she liked.

Her hand tightly gripped the hilt of her saber as she silently watched the ship come closer.

“Ahoy.” The man was smiling at her, ignoring the heavily armed crew around her. Oona blinked, taken aback by the friendliness.

“What do you want?” Oona asked without returning the greeting.

“A fellow ship of pirates, this far away from the usual waters? Couldn’t help myself.”

His voice was jovial but there was something hard underneath it. Oona was reminded of diplomatic meetings she had attended in the past where both sides had been fully aware of the war that was to come but still had to keep up appearances.

Oona ground her teeth. She had hated those friendly lies back then, she hated them even more now.

“What do you want?” she repeated. Her eyes wandered up to the red flag, clearly visible now.

“You shouldn’t sail under a red flag if you only wish you to talk.”

The man chuckled. The sound made Oona twitch. 

Casually he leant on the railing, seemingly completely obvious to the fact that he was outnumbered.

“Ah, people always take that one the wrong way,” he said. “Isn’t really my ship anyway.”

He let his eyes slowly wander over the ship in front of him. Over Oona’s ship.

“I think I like yours a lot better,” he said. “I might take it.”

Oona’s grip around her saber tightened. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see Danvin and the rest of her crew tense. It was just one man, she thought. They shouldn’t worry. Not about one man.

But you didn’t survive at sea by believing only what you could see on the surface.

“This is my ship,” Oona said loudly. “Leave. Before we make you.”  
  
The man smiled. Oona didn’t like his smile.

“We’ll see about this, Queen Oona,” he said. And then he snapped his fingers.

Oona had a few moments to wonder how the hell he knew her name before she suddenly felt something cold pressed against her back.

Startled she turned around, faced with Danvin who raised his sword up to her throat.

“Danvin, what are you-,“ she began.

“Oh, he can’t hear you, my Queen,” the man interrupted her. He snapped his fingers again.

Another member of the crew – _her_ crew, _her_ men, some part inside Oona screamed- stepped forward, a rope in her hand.

With one quick movement of her saber Oona cut it in half.

“Stop this,” she hissed. “Stop this immediately!”

“I’m afraid I am having simply too much fun to stop just now,” the man said with a laugh.

And then another snap of his fingers.

Two more members of her crew came towards her and Oona stepped away but there was Danvin behind her with his sword. Oona raised her own saber, ready to defend herself, ready to fight for her life.

She felt her hand shake. She could take out Danvin and jump over board. If somebody else came after her, she still had her knife.

A few of their lives for her own.

But, she thought, this was Danvin. This was her crew.

“I don’t want you dead, Queen Oona,” the man said behind her. “So if you just follow my orders, there will be no need for bloodshed.”

She turned towards him. He was still leaning against the railing, watching the scene with amused detachment. She wanted to bury her saber in him.

“But if it’s blood you want…” The main snapped his fingers again. And Danvin raised his sword. To his own throat.

Something cold flushed through Oona. The man made a gesture as if to snap his fingers again.

“No!”

He smiled at her.

“No what?” he asked. He still sounded so friendly despite the obvious threat.

“Don’t…” It hurt to ask. Being a pirate captain was hard work. The seas were dangerous and she had to learn to adapt to a life of thievery and fighting instead of courts and royalty.

But at least she didn’t have to ask for permission. She didn’t have to beg.

“Don’t hurt them. Please.”

Expect for now.

The man nodded and snapped his fingers.

Oona froze, staring at Danvin who still had his sword pressed against his throat with horror. But he slowly lowered the sword, reaching out instead to grab her arm and pull her away below deck.

The last thing she saw as she was led into the darkness inside the ship was the man lazily smiling at her.

“Danvin,” Oona hissed. “Snap out of it!”  
  
There was no answer. She ripped her arm out of his grip. The moment she did Danvin immediately raised his sword to his throat again.

“Damn it,” Oona mumbled. Without resistance she let Danvin grab her at the shoulder again, letting herself be led deeper into the ship.

There was a strange feeling of déjà vu and for a moment the wooden planks turned into stone around her and Danvin into the priest that had led her towards the altar where she’d soon be married.

Helplessly following and not knowing how to escape.

She managed to snap out of it when they reached the cell. Danvin opened it and then waited. Wordlessly Oona walked inside, forcing herself to stand completely still as Danvin locked the door and then walked away without another look at her.  
  
And then she was alone.  
  
For a moment Oona considered just screaming. Instead she started furiously pacing the length of the small cell, her gills trembling with barely suppressed anger. Her mind was racing, going through options.  
  
All of them however started with her getting out the cell. The cell had been a new installment and Oona herself had ensured that it would be safe not just for humans but also for all other types of creatures.  
  
She had not considered the possibility of ever being trapped here herself. She stopped pacing, a feeling of despair slowly settling in.

  
What kind of pirate was she even? She had tried her best those last few months but what did she have to show for it?  
  
One burnt ship, a few barely successful robberies and now her crew and boat lost.  
  
And she herself looked away in this cage she had made herself. And the man, he had called her queen. Not captain.

Maybe, Oona thought bitterly, he had been right there.  
  
„Oona!“

She was torn out of her thoughts by a voice close by. For a moment she thought the man had come for and she reflexively reached for her saber before she realized that it was a female voice.

It took her another moment to recognize the voice.  
  
„Bean?“  
  
From behind a few barrels Bean crawled out, her clothes slightly dirty but otherwise not much worse for wear. Oona felt a wave of relief rush through her, followed by guilt as she realized she hadn't thought of Bean until this moment.

„Bean,“ she hissed. „You have to leave the ship. Somebdoy … somebody is controlling the crew. It's not safe here for you.“  
  
„I am not just leaving you!“ There was a look of determination in Bean's eyes.

„Be quiet!“ Oona hissed, afraid of being overheard.  
  
„There is nothing you can do.“ There was a memory of something here. „Just do what I tell you!“ It wasn't a good memory.

„God, why does everybody keep telling me to shut up and do what they say!“ Bean yelled.  
  
Ah, Oona thought suddenly. Ah.

Bean had had a much different upbringing than Oona had. Less ceremony, fewer swamps, a lot less learning how to gracefully catch flies with your tongue.  
  
But she still was a princess, like Oona had been. Still had learnt that what was expected of her was to be quiet and to follow orders.  
  
To go from one cage to another one and not to complain.  
  
Was Oona going to be the one to keep doing that to Bean? Was she the one who'd keep doing this to herself?  
  
„Bean. Can you get me the key?“  
  
Bean looked confused for a moment at the sudden change of topic. Oona gestured for Bean to come closer to the cage.  
  
„I have a plan.“

***  
  
Bean had managed to get the key after a few very long hours that Oona had spent nervously crawling up the sides of the cage, wondering if she had just sent Bean to an early grave.  
  
But Bean had returned, triumphantly dangling the key from her hand.

„Good,“ Oona said as Bean unlocked the door. „Is … did anybody get hurt?“

„Danvin is okay, don't worry. He didn't even seem to notice I was there. What now?“  
  
Oona reached for her saber and raised herself up to her full height.

„You distract them. And I take care of that bastard who is trying to steal my ship and crew.“  
  
„I didn't think I'd ever say that to you, but you are so cool, Oona.“

Oona nodded gracefully and fixed her hat. Time for payback, she thought.

Bean and her parted ways, Bean sneaking out through the normal entrance while Oona found the nearest window and climbed out of. It was a bit bothersome, climbing the ship walls with a saber but she managed to reach the front of the ship nonetheless. Bean had said that the man had gone into the captain's cabin, leaving the rest of the crew on their own.  
  
Her cabin. Oona was going to kill this man.

She waited, sticking to the side of the ship, for the distraction.

But even knowing it was coming, the explosion still took her by surprise. There was a loud noise, followed by flames and the smell of burning alcohol.

Oona really shouldn't have been surprised that Bean knew all about setting things on fire with booze.  
  
For a moment the crew didn't react, just mechanically repeating their movements as they had done before. Oona felt her heart sink. Maybe they had misunderstood and the man would come out and give direct orders.  
  
But then the explosion seemed to have penetrated some part of the mind control her crew was under and the first few of them slowly started stumbling towards the fire. Soon the entire rest of the crew had gone below deck, hopefully trying to extinguish the fire.  
  
Hopefully away from the man’s field of influence.  
  
Not hesitating Oona swiftly broke a window to her cabin with her saber's hilt and forced herself inside, carefully avoiding the sharp glass shards.  
  
Inside she was met with an empty cabin.

Confused she almost lowered her saber when she noticed something moving behind her. Quickly, she turned around and raised her weapon.

„Ah, Queen Oona. Setting my ship on fire now?“

The man came forward, holding a sword in his hand.

„I think you'll find that it is my ship,“ Oona hissed, trusting her saber at the man. He countered easily and Oona had to scuttle to the side to avoid his counterattack.

„My ship, your ship. What does it really matter? Truly, my Queen, ask yourself, is this really the life you wanted?“

The man was talking casually all while trying to stab her with his sword in such quick fashion Oona could do nothing but trying to dodge his attacks. Step by step she was forced backwards, the cabin suddenly seeming even smaller than usual  
  
„This is not the place for a queen, is it? This rough pirate life.“  
  
Her back hit the wall and she realized he had her cornered.  
  
„You know when I first heard about you I had to laugh,“ the man said with a friendly smile, pointing his sword at her. „A queen playing as a pirate? I had to come and see it for myself.“  
  
God, he was like every diplomat and monarch Oona had ever met, all mixed into one. Talking and talking, fully aware that etiquette was forcing Oona to listen. Only this time etiquette was a sword pointed at her throat.  
  
„And I have to so say, I am quite disappointed with what I've seen,“ The man raised his sword. „I do believe it's time to end this charade.“  
  
But this wasn't Dreamland. It wasn’t Dankmire. And she wasn't a queen anymore. If she had to die, Oona suddenly thought, anger shooting through her, she wouldn’t go without a fight.

„Oh, shut up,“ Oona hissed and dropped her saber as she jumped up to the low ceiling above them. The man was stabbing at her the moment she did so but his sword only met empty air.  
  
Oona clang to the ceiling, holding on for dear life. Below her the man let out a curse, frustration obvious for the first time.  
  
„Just die already!“ He snarled, stabbing upwards. Oona scuttled over the ceiling, avoiding the sword but only barely.  
  
Her saber was out of her reach, too far away to do her any good.  
  
But then she remembered the knife. Somehow she managed to pull it out with one hand, all while still avoiding the man's attacks. It was too small to be of any use while she was still crawling on the ceiling though.  
  
One chance, she thought. For her crew. For her ship. For Bean.  
  
Without hesitation she let out a loud scream and dropped on the man below her. There was a sharp pain as his sword punctured her shoulder and Oona felt something wet trickling down her back.  
  
But she focused on the knife in her hand and the man. A cut and the man let out a yelp of pain and dropped his sword as Oona cut his palm.  
  
With one swift movement Oona grabbed the sword and held it up to the man's throat.

„I believe it's time to end this charade,“ she said grimly.  
  
The man wordlessly stared at his own sword held up to his throat. His hand was bleeding heavily and she could see him wince in pain as he tried to close it. Illuminated by the window just behind him, he suddenly looked shabby and pathetic.

„Well, I do think that we might be able to talk about this-“ he began.  
  
„Pirates don't talk about things,“ Oona interrupted him. „You tried to take my ship. You tried to take my crew. You pay the price.“  
  
The man cocked his head and looked at her and Oona had the feeling he was actually seeing her for the first time.  
  
„Seems like we're at an impasse. I do think I better take my leave.“  
  
And with that the man suddenly let himself fall backwards through the hole in the window. Oona rushed forward but it was too late. The man had already fallen into the water below. Looking down into the water he was nowhere to be seen.  
  
Oona cursed loudly, wondering for a moment if she should jump and look for him. Then the smell of burnt wood made itself noticeable and she realized she had more pressing issues at hand.

  
The door to her cabin burst open and her first mate stormed in.  
  
“Captain, the ship’s on fire! And your step-daughter … I mean former step-daughter … I think she got drunk on the fumes or something?”  
  
She would get the man, Oona thought to herself as she quickly followed Danvin to the end of the ship where Bean seemed to try and get a sea shanty going as the flames roared higher and higher.

She was a pirate after all.


End file.
